The KSeeker

In Search of Knowledge…

Insulting the Monkey!

Posted by Girish Krishnan on January 8, 2008

The following usages are amongst the ones which would be soon banned in our cricketing fraternity – “Hawk Eye”, “Out for a duck”,”Sitting Duck”, “Pigeon Mcgrath”, “Bengal Tiger Ganguly”, “Tiger of Pataudi”. The phrases below would soon be questioned – “As fast as a cheetah”, “as alert as a dog”, “lamb willing to get slaughtered”, “hopping like a kangaroo”! I heard that the Indian team is considering to take back their MVP Agarkar (MVP for India or its opposition! – can’t deny that he always makes a difference to the game!) in the team to get the Aussies in trouble. Remember, they made the racist remark of him being “The Bombay Duck” when he scored (or didn’t!) 6 consecutive ducks in the last series against them.

More restrictions to follow – you are not supposed to call anyone a “Kangaroo” or a “Donkey” or “Pig”!! What will happen to people who want to do only mild abuses? I guess they would have to go to unbanned territory of f**ks and s***w you’s to live a decent life from now on! “Dude, look there – that chick looks hot!” (siren rings) . Am in Detroit – “Hey dog, how u doin?” (more siren!) .

After long and thoughtful discussions, myself and Ata (short for Ajay Thomas Abraham who is a good friend of mine) came to the conclusion that people have got it all wrong. According to the Oxford dictionary (which has gone out of use nowadays), Monkey is the name given to a particular kind of chest thumping, alpha active animal which takes pride in scratching itself publicly. Unfortunately for Symonds and the Aussies, “Monkeys” cannot be called a race! Have you ever seen a particular race of human being in a zoo? But hey, you do see monkeys there. I overheard that according to the Aussie Law, the monkeys over there are entitled to social security pension and insurance now! The latest news is that the Aussie Monkey Association is moving to court because apparently in the zoos they are being subjected to racism (kids are calling them Symonds!! ooooh – that’s serious offense!)

Mr Symonds – I think you should be suing DD-National channel for all your problems. Long time ago, they telecasted a mythological serial called “Ramayan” which had Dhara Singh playing the great “Hanuman” – our monkey god, with brilliant superpowers and who is an embodiment of all the good in the world. Unfortunately for you (actually its unfortunate for Hanuman), Dhara singh bears an uncanny resemblance to you esp when you appear with that white cream on your face and i feel that is the root cause of all problems!

You were on the verge of being revered in India, but now are on the “hate” list of everyone for being such a cry baby. Anyways, i think its time for the media to correct the alleged racist remarks against Bhajji – at least the accusation should be that he is a speciest and not a racist!


One Response to “Insulting the Monkey!”

  1. lazybug said

    Very nice post. I suggest Harbhajan should call Symonds some other name next time around. He’s not half as intelligent as a Monkey.

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